How to Build Self-Esteem - Where does it come from - How do I get it - Can I change my self esteem - How to accept compliments - Do you allways speak negatively about yourself - Don't apologize for your actions - Are you a perfectionist - Are you a procrastinator - Self Talk - Under or Overachiever - Attitude = Self-Esteem - Growing a YOU attitude - 10 Tips to Improving Self-Esteem
How to accept compliments
True Compliments Must Be Acknowledged
Human beings are social animals and because they require constant interaction with others for their survival. In short, it is important for people to get along with each other.
Arguments have raged over the centuries on how people can truly cultivate a meaningful relationship with each other. Cultures have different ways of coping with others depending also on the environment they lived in.
Take for example the Japanese. For population densities approaching 13,416 per square kilometer in Tokyo as of September 2003, it is highly important for them to maintain social ties on a level that helps them keep on an even keel with each other.
The strategy the Japanese have adopted is to be exceedingly polite. It would be difficult for a Japanese to be frank and straightforward with a stranger or somebody who is not a family member. He will use the indirect approach to try to get his message across.
Among the Americans, whose culture enshrines the value of independence and the free enterprise, being straightforward and frank is not uncommon, especially among ambitious and goal-oriented individuals.
Depending on where one lives, the point is that people find ways to keeps the wheels of civility moving along. Compliments play a good role in that aspect.
Compliments are defined is statements of praise. Indeed they are. What most people look at when being given a compliment is the truth behind the comment. This is because people as social beings want to be acknowledged for the contributions they have made to society.
Compliments are a good way for people to tell them how great they are. However, since compliments are so easy to dish out, it must be absolutely truthful. People can smell a lying or an insulting compliment a mile away. You can see it in the eyes, the posture, even the smile of the one making the compliment.
As grease for the social wheel, compliments have seen abuse many times for its convenience. This has caused a double-edged phenomenon among people that makes them automatically reject compliments with a negative disparaging remark about themselves or accept it too readily.
In short, people nowadays prefer to sell themselves short than to accept a compliment.
It became apparent that people with low self-esteem tend to reject compliments and establish a false sense of modesty while people with an overweening confidence tend to accept compliments with an edge to it. The art of accepting compliments was in danger of becoming lost.
Here’s how to accept compliments without coming off as cocky or as a rejecter:
- Know yourself. This cannot be emphasized enough. To get rid of the insecurity that compliments generate in a person, knowledge about oneself is the most important factor.
With self-knowledge, you know yourself more than anybody can. When a compliment is given, you can instantly detect whether it was genuine by the sheer fact that you know where you truly stand in the scheme of things. Compliments that are specific usually mean people are sincere.
Nothing feels better than to be acknowledged for a job hard fought and truly well done. When you know you have given all you had to the project, the late nights, the overtime, the concentration, you should accept it with good grace, because you know you deserve the accolades.
- Learn to say Thank You. Compliments are one of the hardest things to accept for most people. So take a breath and practice saying “Thank you” to the wonderful gift of compliments.
Acknowledge the compliment by giving a genuine and sincere appreciation of the remark. It is not necessary to give another one back to the complimenter. This is not a market where you have to do an exchange. Just don’t forget when the opportunity comes for you to give one yourself.
- Trust your instincts. How can you tell the person is sincere? You can try trusting your first impressions. The first two seconds is enough for your intuition to see whether people mean what they say about you.
Nevertheless, you most probably accept the compliment anyway to keep the wheel rolling along. Except that now you will take this compliment with a grain of salt. But also take stock of your condition. You might be tired and might react differently. It all depends on whether you are able to observe yourself and your reactions. That way you won’t be caught off guard.